Reflection

YEAR 2021 Reflection

Year 2021 changed me physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

• January 2021: I started my personal training with strict meal plan, gym workouts everyday, swimming 2-4 times a week, and disciplined journey with weight loss and my relationship with God.
• So many things has happened in one year.
• I cut ties with few people, renewed relationship within the family, disciplined myself physically, sexual assault in the gym and arrested a pervert in April, started counseling/therapy, was interested in few people but never got in a relationship, tried online dating but never successful, went ice skating, traveled to Orlando, family visits, AhMooNah Café, worked for summer school, passed my GACE and got salary bump, 
• Starting summer, I lost focus on my discipline and started to drift off and slack off.
• I lost vision and passion, served in College Ministry but left, started to drink alcohol, started to go back to my sinful old habits, thoughts/mind/words/action/behavior started to show my distance with God.

YEAR 2022 Focus

Ephesians 5:15-20

15 So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. 16 Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. 17 Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. 18 Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, 19 singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. 20 And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

At the end of 2021, I started to live in this world. I was taking advantage of myself by indulging the things of this world. Rather being a walking testimony and a reflection of God, I was walking in this world by myself. I also started to question and grow bitterness towards God as to why I am still single. Even when I opened myself to be more open... still no one. So I started to act differently and started to take advantage of my own heart. 

This year of 2022, I want to turn away and look forward towards God by walking in wisdom and filled with the Holy Spirit. Rather acting thoughtlessly and being drunk with this world, I want to be a woman of God who is praising in hymns and psalms.

(I just realized Ephesians 5:19-20 was my selected life verse... and I forgot all about it.)

Psalm 28:7 (KJV)

7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

Psalm 28:7 is also my life verse... and I completely forgot to live with praise in my heart.

To my question regarding to my singleness... I am not ready for marriage even though I want to rush it due to age.